The Department of Fantastical Vehicles

“Hurry along, and be on your best behavior when we get inside. Especially you, Rodger. This won’t take long.”

At least, I hope not. Kaelyn placed her hand on the door and took a deep breath, steeling herself. She pulled the handle and peered inside. 

Her face paled. Sweat prickled her brow. For a moment, she considered turning right back around and heading home.

“What’s wrong, Mom?” Miera asked, floating beside her.

The line stretched from the desk at the back, snaked through the waiting chairs, and nearly met the door. Kaelyn took Miera’s hand. “Get your books ready, honey, and keep your feet on the floor.” Then, muttered to herself, “There’s nothing worse than being stuck in line at the DFV.”

As Kaelyn merged with the queue, her phone buzzed in her tunic pocket; it was her husband, Gorgritch. 

Booked the flight?

Not yet. Long line. Have to keep the sprites from going crazy.

I’m sorry 🙁

If I could, I’d take em all out for you

Like those firebats! 🦇

Kaelyn smiled at the text. She’d married Gorgritch as a young elf fresh out of mage school nearly ten years ago. His father owned the mines outside of town, and as a dutiful son, Gorgritch had quarried stone alongside him since his youngest years. They met when Kaelyn had been assigned to the mines to help clear out a den of fire bats. Kaelyn closed her eyes and could see it all again: fire bats shooting out of every midnight corner, flames striking stone as the bats fought back against Kaelyn’s water jets. Her robe whipping as she dodged, just singed at the edges from the bats’ swoops and dives. And at the entrance to the cave, she saw him: Gorgritch staring, stunned, right at her. He watched her like he’d never seen a mage at work – perhaps he hadn’t. And then, as Kaelyn drove the bats toward the entrance, he jumped in to help, swinging his axe like a baseball bat to launch them away.

Afterward, he’d held out his hand to her, calloused and black from his work, and introduced himself. He’d invited her to dinner. She’d said yes.

We’ll get there. Can’t wait to see you! ♥️

Kaelyn finished her text and put the phone away. She had married a good, hardworking dwarf, and she missed him fiercely. It was time to go to him.

“Next,” a voice called in monotone, and the line took a collective step forward as the orc at the front lumbered to the front desk.

Thirty minutes later, Kaelyn shifted her weight from leg to leg and glanced at her watch. For a moment, she considered launching fireballs at the ceiling – not enough to do extensive damage, just to send a few of these creatures home. She hated waiting in line.

A blur flashed past near her hip and she swung her hand down to catch the sprite. It was Rodger – it was always Rodger – but this time, he somehow avoided her grasp. It was uncanny how her two-foot-tall fairy offspring could move so deftly, but move he did, such that Kaelyn’s hand seemed to pass right through him. Then he slammed into his brother, and they both landed in a wet heap on the ground.

“Gotcha!” Rodger cackled a song of delight that echoed through the room, bouncing off cold drywall painted blindingly white and drawing the attention of every creature waiting. Elves, warlocks, hags, wood nymphs, and halflings all waited in line, just like Kaelyn, and every single one of them had followed Rodger’s flight as he tackled Henric.

Henric was five years older than Rodger, and though he still delighted in a good roughhouse, the tackle caught him completely off-guard. He’d hit the ground hard, shocking his system, and transformed into a wave of water that splashed on the six people in front of Kaelyn, right up to the first warlock in line.

“Boys! BOYS!” Kaelyn hissed and managed to grab Rodger by the shoulder before he could dart away for a second approach. Henric pulled himself back together, water droplets coalescing into Kaelyn’s oldest. Hearing the tone of his mother’s voice, he slunk to Kaelyn’s opposite side, but still shot a mischievous grin at Rodger.

Kaelyn glanced at the people waiting in front of her. A slim high elf dressed in elegant greens flicked water off his tunic. Kaelyn muttered a quick apology; the elf didn’t deign to respond.

Kaelyn crouched low and brought Rodger and Henric’s faces close to hers.

“If you two can’t settle down, no dessert tonight after dinner,” she warned. The boys groaned collectively, and she added, “And I’m making blood pudding, so calm down! Here, take a spell book and sit in those chairs over there. Henric, read aloud for Rodger. Learn something while we wait.”

The boys followed Kaelyn’s orders obediently, but couldn’t resist bumping shoulders as they found their seats. Kaelyn checked her watch again with a sigh.

It had been ninety seconds.

“I’m happy to wait with you, Mama,” came a small voice next to her. Miera sat criss-cross applesauce, eyes closed and hands clasped in her lap as she floated all the way up to Kaelyn’s waist. Her magic was just awakening, and it delighted Miera so much that she practiced it constantly – even at the DFV.

“Next,” the voice called again. Kaelyn blew out her cheeks and checked on the boys.

They were hunched, heads together, giggling over a page of their spellbook.

“Psst. What are you doing?” she whispered. They glanced at her, wriggling with delight, and hid the page.

“I’ll check on them, Mama.”

Sweet Miera was the middle child, but she acted like a mini mother sandwiched between her wild brothers. She half floated, half danced toward them and yanked the spellbook right out of her hands.

“No, don’t!” Rodger yelled, trying to snatch the book back and drawing more attention.

It soon became obvious why. As Miera pulled the book away, a gelatinous blob of murky yellow goo dropped to the floor. 

Miera screeched and jumped back, floating nearly to the ceiling. “Mama! They conjured your oozie!”

Rodger dove to grab the slimy oozeling, but it splooshed across the floor and away from them. Kaelyn took a step toward them, but immediately the hag behind her tried to step into her spot, and she was forced to jump back.

“Grab it, boys, quick!” Kaelyn said, trying not to shout and draw more attention, though that effort was fruitless. She often used oozelings to mop up potion spills or errant cups of milk, but now, she deeply regretted giving them the spellbook that explained how to call one into existence.

Rodger and Henric hurried after the oozeling, Henric just a step ahead. He ran right up to it as it slurched toward a coffee cup left under a chair, but overshot just slightly. As Henric reached down to grab the creature, he kicked it instead, launching it across the room until it squelched onto a wood nymph’s cheek.

The wood nymph screamed and scratched at her face. “Get it off! Get it off me!”

Rodger hurried up to grab the creature, but the wood nymph flailed and smacked him, and he couldn’t get close enough.

“This is absurd,” Kaelyn muttered, and finally she stepped out of line. She rubbed her hands together, conjuring a current of magical electricity, and grabbed the oozeling herself. The jolt of energy passed through it and it dissolved, sliding off the wood nymph’s face and landing inert on the ground.

“Mom, it was Rodger! I didn’t do it, Mom, I swear!” Henric shouted.

“Rodger can’t read, Henric,” Kaelyn hissed. She turned to the nymph. “I’m so sorry about that. I can clear that residue right up for you.” She pulled out a handkerchief, but the wood nymph turned away.

“Keep your sprites in line, mage. This is no place for such mayhem,” she snapped.

“I’m sorry,” Kaelyn said again. She turned to the boys, her expression fierce. “To your seats. Now.”

Abashed, the boys sat back down. Kaelyn pulled out a scrap of parchment and a pen.

“Lines, Henric. Twenty. I will not conjure mischievous creatures. Rodger, you can watch.”

“How do you spell mischievous?” Henric asked. Rodger watched Kaelyn, and his wide, slightly scared eyes softened her. She scribbled the word onto the page and returned to her spot in line.

The hag had, indeed, attempted to take her place, and was actively avoiding eye contact with Kaelyn. But Miera stepped out from around the hag’s legs.

“I saved our spot, Mama!” she declared. Kaelyn grinned as the hag begrudgingly stepped back.

The minutes dragged on. Rodger and Henric wrote lines; Miera told Kaelyn a story about her friend at forest school.

Kaelyn’s phone buzzed in her pocket.

“My dear!” Gorgritch’s gravelly voice said. “How’s the infinity line going?”

“Well, suffice it to say that the boys have already had to do lines.”

“Oh, dear. I wish I was there with you, my love.”

“I do, too.” Tears stung Kaelyn’s eyes against her will. She dropped her voice. “It’s been almost a month since you left. I don’t know if I can do this much longer.”

“You can,” Gorgritch said gently, ever the encourager. “You can, and you’re halfway through. September will be here before we know it.”

Kaelyn blew out her cheeks. “Time to keep calm and carry on, as the nymphs say.”

She caught the wood nymph glaring at her, a red patch fading on her cheek. Kaelyn grimaced.

“Next,” the attendant called, and the elf in front of Kaelyn stepped up.

“I’m almost there. I should go. I love you, honey.”

“Love you, my flower. We’ll be together again soon!”

Kaelyn hung up and glanced at the boys. Rodger had taken Henric’s parchment and was drawing on it. Rodger was still seated, but the way his knee bounced and the shifty look in his eyes as he surveyed the room gave Kaelyn a sense of foreboding.

In another five minutes, the attendant called, “Next,” and Kaelyn approached the desk.

“Welcome to the Department of Fantastical Vehicles.” The gnome behind the desk had patchy gray hair and a tunic so uniform that Kaelyn wasn’t sure of gender or gender identity. They muttered the welcome and scratched a pen across a sheet of parchment without looking up.

“I’d like to book dragon transport to Nantgard for one adult and three children, please,” Kaelyn said. “I’d prefer the calmest breed you have. Maybe a Bulgarian Blue?”

“Date of travel?” The gnome clicked at a computer, face utterly slack. Kaelyn could’ve been a disembodied voice for all they noticed her.

“September the sixth.”

“No Bulgarian Blues available,” the gnome said immediately. Kaelyn groaned inwardly. With that kind of reaction, they were probably booked out for months.

“How about an Amber fledgling?” 

The attendant shook their head. “All out. So is the Taiwanese Firework.”

Kaelyn scoffed. “Well, I hardly think a Firework would be appropriate for children.”

The attendant shot her a withering look, and Kaelyn regretted her tendency to speak before she thought.

“We also have Ridgetail Blacks. A bit more aggressive, but for an additional fifty gold, you can rent a trainer who will come with you and keep things in line.”

Kaelyn shook her head. Like she had fifty gold to throw around with three sprites in tow. “Perhaps another date would work? I could push our travel to the next week.”

“Let me see… No, that’s the World Cup. Everything’s out except the Georgian Rocket.”

“No, no, we’ll break our necks on a dragon that fast.” Kaelyn rubbed her eyes. “When is the Bulgarian Blue available next?”

The attendant clicked for a painfully long time. “I’ve got… November the first. Right after Halloween. A good time to travel.”

“That won’t work at all.” Kaelyn shifted her tone, trying to garner some sympathy. “My husband has started a new job across the mountains, and our belongings are already scheduled for train transport. I need to be in Nantgard by September 15 or we’ll miss our pickup.” 

The attendant nodded, but Kaelyn sensed that her urgency hadn’t landed.

“Please, I just need to get myself and our children out there. Begin our new life.” She softened her face with a warm smile that the attendant, having switched back to the parchment on their desk, completely missed.

“You could consider an alternative to dragon transport. I’ve got flying carpets available that seat up to four.”

“Really?” Kaelyn hadn’t considered flying carpets. “How much?”

“Ten gold for you, seven for the children.” Reasonable! 

“Mom! I want to ride a flying carpet, Mom!” Miera said, bouncing up and down so much that she inadvertently rolled right into a midair backflip. 

“But the magic fades after two hours,” the attendant continued. “You’d need to land in a town with a certified mage to reignite it. I have a list of options.” 

They passed over a paper with about twenty town names, none of which Kaelyn recognized. 

“I’m a mage. Can I reignite it?”

“Are you flying-carpet certified?”

“Well… no.” The gnome looked at her like they wanted to say that some questions are stupid, and Kaelyn deflated. “How long would the trip take?”

The gnome pursed their lips. “To Nantgard? Six hours at least. You should estimate at least an hour to land and reignite the magic.” 

Kaelyn rubbed her eyes; a dragon could make the trip in half that time. 

As she considered her options, Rodger and Henric bounded up, shoving into each other as boys do, and smashed headlong into the medusa behind Kaelyn. The woman’s venomous snakes hissed, and Kaelyn grabbed for Rodger as one lunged at him. But Rodger twisted away from the snake and was suddenly on the other side of the room.

Kaelyn stared. What had just happened?

The thought disappeared as Rodger, with his mischievous grin, reached for the front door handle.

“Rodger! No!” Kaelyn shouted, but before she could take a step, Rodger was out the door.

Kaelyn rushed across the room without a second thought. The city center was busy midweek; there’d be crowds, traffic, and a host of distractions for a young sprite to get lost in. She hurtled across the threshold,  turned left and then right, hoping to catch Rodger just a few steps away. He’d never been a true runner…

But Rodger was nowhere to be found.

“Rodger? Rodger!” Kaelyn called, anxiety exploding in her chest. “Rodger! Get back here this instant!”

She ran down the sidewalk toward the corner, hoping he’d just disappeared around it. She glimpsed the hag she’d seen in line texting in her car… Could she have snatched him and hidden him away already? Could a vampire have noticed him and taken advantage of the opportunity for a quick bite? In her panic, Kaelyn wasn’t thinking straight; the sun blazed far too brightly for vampires. But what about a passing Jinn…?

“Mom!” Henric called as Kaelyn reached the corner. She peeked around the side. No one there.

“Mama!” This time it was Miera. “Rodger’s here!”

Kaelyn whirled around. All three of her children stood at the door, Miera bouncing even higher than usual in her agitation, Henric wringing his hands, and Rodger, as still as if he’d been frozen in ice, staring at the ground.

“Rodger Jeremiah Gorgritchson!” Kaelyn grabbed Rodger’s collar and hauled him back inside. “You stand right beside me, and don’t move a muscle until I’m done. Not a muscle.” She halted him beside the front desk as fury, embarrassment, and the residual adrenaline of panic pulsed in her ears. Henric and Miera followed close behind. 

“I’m sorry,” Kaelyn muttered to the attendant, slightly winded. “You were saying about the – the flying carpets…”

The attendant clicked at their computer as though the interruption had never happened. For once, their deadpan inflappability eased the tension in Kaelyn’s chest. “Yes. They are probably your best choice. They come with seatbelts now.”

Kaelyn pictured landing every two hours and hunting down a mage in gods knows where with her three sprites. After Rodger's escape attempt, that kind of journey sounded riskier than the Taiwanese Firework.

“Any other options?”

“Well… there’s always the giant fireworm. Faster, since they can follow a more direct route underground.”

“Mom! Mom! Let’s take the fireworm!” Rodger, having clearly recovered from Kaelyn’s discipline, yanked on her arm to enhance his plea. Henric took up a chant with him: “Take the fireworm! Take the fireworm!” 

“But we won’t insure against burns,” the attendant called over the noise. Kaelyn gaped. The boys immediately started throwing imaginary fireballs at each other, then nursed pretend burns with dramatic groans of pain. 

Maybe Kaelyn should have listened to her instincts and shot off fireballs earlier. At least then, there’d be fewer creatures watching her family dissolve into chaos. 

“Listen, those are your options,” the attendant pressed. “Take them or leave them. Fall is a very busy travel time for many creatures.”

Kaelyn rubbed her eyes as she debated her terrible options. Gorgritch would be deep in the mines when their belongings arrived, so Kaelyn had to be there to pick everything up. Otherwise, it went to Unclaimed Belongings and could be grabbed by any sticky-fingered fairy in the realm. There was no way she’d risk her children on the more dangerous dragon breeds, and a giant fireworm was absolutely out of the question. But six hours on a flying carpet, plus breaks to land… Miera would be fine, she’d just chat the whole time, but no amount of spellbooks would keep the boys occupied. 

“Mama, Henric pinched me!” Miera cried, and initiated a wail that could rival a banshee.

“Did not! Mom, Miera’s tattle-telling!”

“I can’t do this,” Kaelyn whispered. Gorgritch was wrong. She hadn’t been doing it well before this; she’d been stressed and sharp with the sprites. The last month had felt like an eternity. And now, she couldn’t even book the flight that would finally bring their family back together. Panic bloomed fresh in her chest, but different now: the feeling of inevitable failure crashing down on her.

Rodger appeared at her side once more. “Mom! Mom! Are we taking the fireworm? We’ll be there just like that!” He snapped his fingers. 

Kaelyn gasped. 

The realization came like lightning flashing across the sky – how Rodger had avoided her grasp, how he’d jumped across the room, how he’d disappeared and then reappeared outside. 

“Rodger!” she sputtered, suddenly breathless. “Rodger! Your magic came in!”

The little sprite furrowed his brows. “What?”

She opened her mouth to speak, but then paused, suddenly hesitant. She knew the facts. If Rodger was developing what she thought he had, the plan would work. But could Rodger – her Rodger, the epitome of chaos barely contained in a sprite’s body – actually be trusted to make the jump?

“Ma’am? What’s your decision?” The gnome attendant watched her, waiting for an answer. Kaelyn heard an exasperated sigh from the medusa behind her. The line was growing long, and Kaelyn had to make a choice.

But she knew what choice to make.

Kaelyn crouched in front of Rodger.

“Son, I have something important to tell you.”

Rodger stopped bouncing. “What? Did Henric wet me again?” He patted himself down, then giggled until his whole body wiggled, and Kaelyn couldn’t help but laugh.

It would be Rodger, mister jokes-all-the-time, who’d save them.

Grinning, Kaelyn said, “There’s only a one-in-thirty-thousand chance that you’d get this magic, but you did get it, didn’t you?”

“Get what, Mom?” 

“Rodger, you can teleport.”

Rodger stilled. “Wait. I can?”

“You can!”

“No, I can’t!”

Kaelyn laughed. “You’ve been doing it all morning, haven’t you? You teleported out of my hands when we got here, and then you jumped out of the way earlier. Then you disappeared and reappeared outside! Rodger! You can teleport!”

“Well – oh!” Rodger cackled now, doubling over in laughter. “I can, can’t I?”

Kaelyn kissed him on the cheek, relief a palpable release in her chest, like the air being let out of a balloon. She grabbed Miera’s hand and called to Henric. “Come in close, guys! No dragons for us. Rodger’s saved the day!”

“I can teleport!” he shouted, and Kaelyn ignored the stares of the other creatures at the DFV as she hugged her youngest. 

He was a wild boy, but he was hers.

And he’d inherited one of the rarest magical abilities any mage could receive.

“Ma’am? Ma’am? What is going on?” the attendant interjected, leaning over the front desk.

Kaelyn hardly even heard them. She crouched down, finding each of her sprites’ eyes in turn. “I’d say we’ve had enough of this city, don’t you think?”

“Yeah!” the three of them chorused.

“Want to go see Daddy?”

“Yeah!”

“Then come here.” They huddled together right at the front of the line, the whole room captivated by the scene unfolding before them. “Come very close, guys, and link arms in a circle. Hold on nice and tight. Now, Rodger.” The little sprite’s brown eyes widened, excitement and fear shining through. Kaelyn continued, “I want you to think of Daddy. Picture him and only him. Picture his smile, the way his eyes smush into crescents when he laughs. Think of the way he sounds when he yells out, ‘Ahoy, Rodger!’” Kaelyn mimicked Gorgritch’s raspy voice and booming laugh, and the sprites all giggled. 

“I’m thinking of Daddy, Mom!” Rodger announced, and he looked much less fearful now.

“Excellent. Now, Rodger, instead of jumping across the room to get away from me, I want you to jump all of us right to Dad.”

Rodger’s mouth dropped open. “I can’t do that!”

“Yes, you can. You absolutely can! You already did it, Rodger!” Kaelyn unlinked her arm from Henric’s and reached across the circle to place it on Rodger’s little shoulder. He was so small, and yet Kaelyn knew without a doubt that he was big enough to jump them all. “I believe in you, son.”

Rodger stared at her. Then he set his jaw and closed his eyes. 

“You can do it, Rodger,” Miera said.

Kiera took Henric’s arm again. “Let’s go see Daddy.”

And in that instant, there was a low pop, and Kaelyn and her three sprites disappeared.

The creatures at the DFV stood still for a long minute, staring at the empty spot on the floor where the boisterous family had just been. The gnome rubbed their face, shook their head, and sat down.

“Next.”

The Crimson Alchemist

Dark Academia Fantasy Mystery, 94,000 words

Rachel Winters is thrilled when she becomes the youngest professor at Anora Academy, a prestigious school of alchemy. She’s ready to teach her classes, research ancient tomes in the library, and side-eye her sexy fellow professor, Alex Everhart. But when she discovers a student’s body on campus and the cult she escaped starts showing up, Rachel has to figure out what’s going on before her past catches up with her.

The Crimson Alchemist is a story about facing past hurt and present dangers with courage and resilience. It’s Jessica Jones set in dark academia, perfect for readers who enjoyed A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik, Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo, and How to Solve Your Own Murder by Kristin Perrin.

PROGRESS: My manuscript is written and clocked in at 94,000 words! It is now undergoing the querying process in hopes of attracting an agent. If you’d like updates on the Crimson Alchemist, sign up for my newsletter!